Elmlea Double Cream ‘alternative’

This is a controversial addition to the CFC because there are some poor souls who are unable to enjoy the wonders of Double Cream.  This is not their fault, there is no blame, but it only goes to highlight the horror that awaits those who have to eat ‘dairy alternatives’.  This is the only thing near to cream that they can eat, but to those of us who have a benchmark, this is gross…
“Elmlea was launched in the UK in 1984, it was the first cream alternative to meet the needs of time-pressed consumers who wanted convenience along with the great taste of real cream.” – Unilever

Lets take this apart.  Firstly this was launched as a convenience food, not one directly aimed out lactose intolerant consumers who couldn’t eat cream.  Secondly, great taste? It tastes like engine oil and looks like liquefied boredom.  Don’t try and use it in cooking because it simply curdles.

Ingredients consist of Buttermilk (63%), Vegetable Oils in varying proportions (35%) (Palm, Rapeseed), Buttermilk Powder, Emulsifiers (E435, E322 (from Soya)), Lactose, Stabilisers (E412, E410), Colour (E160a).

And if you close your eyes hard enough, you can actually hear the lactose fermenting.

I would hazard to say that this is not an alternative in the positive sense.  The only things you can really use it for is cooling down hot puddings; pouring over fruit then offering it to someone you dislike and lubricating chocolate fountains.


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